November 6, 2013

Open to the Public

Is internet rudeness inevitable these days?  Is it something one should expect when putting themselves online publicly?  Personally, I think rudeness is unacceptable in any forum...there's no need to be mean.  But it seems that some just can't help it, making rude personal remarks, especially when they get to hide behind a screen and don't have to look the person they're insulting in the face.
A few days ago, a faceless internet commenter (screen name: "derp") replied to one of my comments on another website, calling me "dumb/ugly."  Now, I know I am neither dumb nor ugly, but reading that comment made me kind of slink back into my chair and feel...small.  Even though this derp doesn't know me and has no bearing on my existence, it still stung a little.  I'm slightly bothered by the fact that I even care what derp typed in his/her comment.  I'm confident, I'm happy...why should it bother me?  I'm not losing any sleep over it or anything, but it did get me thinking about how we humans act toward one another and, that we could all stand to be a little bit more careful about what we say, on or offline.

I know some people get their kicks from saying/doing things just to see how other people react; to get a rise out of someone.  I think that's a shame.  I'm willing to bet that 9 times out of 10, someone who says something vile about another person online would never say it to the person's face if given the opportunity.  

Take, for instance, Kim Kardashian.  This poor woman has been trashed countless times on TV, on magazine covers, and especially online.  I can't even tell you all the terrible things hundreds of people have written about her...I'm sure you've read some yourself.  She's been fat shamed, slut shamed, fashion shamed, and called every name in the book.  All by people who don't know her, only going by their own judgments from what they see in the media.  Now I'm not saying I am a huge fan or that I agree with her decisions/behavior, etc.  What I am saying is that she doesn't deserve all the hate that she gets.  Yes, she chose to make herself a public brand, but she's still a person.  She still has feelings and insecurities.  She still deserves to be treated like a human.  To the rude people: What if  it was your friend, your sister, or even you, dear Meanie, that was being treated this way?  I don't think you'd like that one bit.  I feel like a lot of people have really lost sight of the humanity of others.  Especially those they choose to judge from afar. 

I suppose the whole point of this stream of consciousness is...all the online/media negativity floating around these interwebs really doesn't help anything or anyone.  I suppose being negative and trash talking others makes some people feel superior or better about their own lives.  But that's never going to be the way to happiness.  What derp said about me is a tiny, tiny little piece of this problem.  I'm no worse for wear because of it, but it does make me realize even more now that words do matter.  What we say can have lasting impact.  Positive OR negative.  Think before you speak (or type).

I can still remember being a little girl, being teased, being called ugly.  "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," right?  I said that to him, the boy that called me ugly.  But if that saying were true, I probably wouldn't still remember it after all these years. 

I hope derp's life gets better.  Really.

Via Post Secret

xo :)


  1. you're absolutely right! sometimes people say terrible things when they're hidden behind the computer and they don't realize that it really hurts. Hope you'll be always surrounded by nice people in you life♥:)

  2. oh my gosh! you recently followed my blog so I headed over to check yours out and I was so so so happy to see this post.

    I wrote a similar one earlier today that I will be posting tomorrow about this exact topic.

    If you've been on my blog you know that I recently let a pretty public outlet do a story on my weightloss and since then i've such sweet and kind comments, but also my fair share of really rude and mean ones. For like 3 seconds I let it get me super down and feel pretty crappy about myself. I don't know why people use the internet as a way to be mean to people, but it really just sucks.

    Anyways, thanks for stopping by my blog and I'm your newest follower:)

    1. I read your post about the internet meanies, and I totally agree with you. All of us girls in the blogosphere (at least the ones I've seen) are about being positive and happy and confident. Mean people will try to put us down, but they shall not prevail! Keep up the positive vibes and happy successes! :)

  3. This really breaks my heart and i am really sorry to hear this. From what i know of you so far, i know you are obviously not any of those things. It is sometimes hard to not let things bother you but my approach to such situations is first understanding these people who for no reason, try to bring others down are fighting their own demons.

    Rather than see it as malicious, see it as quite the opposite. You obviously have something he or she doesn't have or simply wants so badly it got him/her all so worked up- Not necessarily physical appearance. Maybe your level of intelligence. Whatever it is, that is not for you to concern yourself about because that negative remark towards you is only a confirmation you already won. You can only wish him/her a happier life. It is definitely not you. This person is mad at the world and you have nothing to do with it, he/she just wants to bring others along.

    Now i have got to ask, "Can you share some of these great things about yourself that makes people wish they were you with the rest of us?" ;).

  4. Here's my super succinct comment - people suck. You do not. XoXo!!